Werewolf bar mitzvah, spooky, scary...

The calm before the storm has officially past. For those of you who don’t know, Madison has played host to several puny, pathetic student “riots” each Halloween for the last few years. In that time period, the City of Madison and the UW have learned to control the students with some aplomb, much as happened back in East Lansing at good ‘ol MSU (my Alma Mater,) in the course of that particular four-year tourist-driven riot craze. This year, they’re corralling off State Street, site of the annual festivities, and cattle-prodding the traditionally half-naked attendees into staging areas where several mediocre national bands will be playing, likely competing for bored audience members. Last year, it was still just a giant fenced-in meat market, where everybody was free-ranging within the pen, and checking each other out. It was a lot of fun, though not quite as cool as the year before. As it’s likely to be colder this year than last, perhaps the enforced press around stages will at least be good for the ladies, preventing colds and such… However, there is one complicating factor.

THIS IS HOMECOMING WEEKEND!!! How could the Administration of the UW have possibly been so stupid? I mean its one thing to be a member of the Big 10 conference and thus be forced into scheduling negotiations to get a sneeze in edgewise, let alone a game rescheduled. It’s entirely another to let history whack you over the head with a double-whammy like, oh, an historically riot-prone weekend and the biggest game of the year all at once. As an aside, the same thing happened two years ago, which was when this annual bloodbath was first recognized as an actual problem by the city. Madison, already widely known for its’ acute alcoholism, will be awash in liquor for the next 48-odd hours, and ready to blow like a powder keg… Especially if the damned Badgers don’t win tomorrow. Add to that the traditional freak-show progression of out-of-towners who come for some “riot action” and the normal sprinkling of drunken lout football fans, and wow. I have half a mind to buy some crappy tickets, but don’t know if I really feel like being trampled, especially if I have to pay for the privilege.

No. Orpheus and I have alternate plans. I’m going to don my tired, third-year drag. I haven’t decided if the short silver sequined number and four inch hells… excuse me, HEELS are going on ‘Sinead O’Conner’ or an unfortunate ‘Natalie Portman’ from ‘V is for Vendetta’ as yet, but either way it works out well. My hair is buzzed close to the scalp, and I can get rid of the goatee easily enough. In said getup, my beau and I shall trip the light fantastic on the capitol square at the slightly more upscale bars. Hopefully, we won’t be able to smell the teargas when the riot police are called out in force, but I figure that the screams will still be more than audible. Ahh, the wonder that is an undergraduate education… How glad I am that my liver survived thee. I'll post again on Monday, if still extant.