My God...

I have dropped the ball. I promised I’d be writing more, and find myself, instead, writing less and less. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that I’m not drinking so much right now, which tends to bank the creative fires. This is due to my frequent mood swings of late caused by job stress, and my need to hoard money like some sort of little Midas (very little, in fact,) preparing for stagflation. My job is genuinely in trouble at this point, the John Deere opportunity may not pan out, and I don’t exactly have much in the wings. I am worried, and have had to be very careful not to take it out on Orpheus. He has been amazing through the entire process, and we are still working out well despite my frantic pleas last week to break up with me so he wouldn’t “have to worry about what comes next.” I hate panic attacks. Especially suicidal panic attacks. They make me feel less than classy. And, frankly, haven’t I been through enough?

My Mother would respond that it is all part of God’s plan, and she feels for me and prays for me, but that I should just keep trying. It’s hard for me not to tell her that’s hogwash. I want kids someday, but frankly, life sucks so much so often, I don’t know if I want to lie to another human, one that trusts me implicitly for even a short time, that everything will, in fact, be OK. We get a spare modicum of pleasure in this life, and most of us (me included,) squander the shit out of it. The rest of our time is spent working like slaves. An entire race of beings shouldn’t have to pay the fare for bad decisions on diet made by two semi-divine simpletons and one angry god… Or, you know, any of the actual sins of our in-fact ancestors, like being poor, getting exiled from this or that land, etc., etc., ad nauseum.

I suppose that the point of this rant is one that you’ve all read before. I’m really, really tired. Exhausted. And I just have to keep going, because if I stop it’ll make everyone that I love and everyone who loves me at least a little sad, a little empty, and take some speed off their rat-races. These are people who have been there for me, so it’s only fair that I’m there for them. I guess I just need to figure out the mental equivalent of DM’s coffee.

In the meantime… Bleh.

The Dress of Michelle Obama and sundry...

It seems that the “I’s” have it… The Nation has walked out on George W. and his cadre of insane, inane Neo-cons. Despite the fact that I am still not entirely comfortable with Barack Obama, I couldn’t help feeling good about the way all that voting went, yesterday. For me, the outpouring of faith in the power of Democracy by countless youths and minority groups signals the beginning of the end of the tyranny of scared, small people over the fate of folks (like me,) who’ve made alternate decisions about they way they live their lives. This could mean anything from a biologically driven difference like sexual orientation (it’s not a choice, breeders, any more than it is for you,) to the hard decision that you are not ready to have a child that “just happened,” whether in our out of the bounds of a relationship. This is the end of the era of being scared that, yes, my neighbor will gladly strip me of my rights due to fear of using them him-or herself, the end of being afraid of the long, slow backslide through women’s lib, racial and sexual equality legislation. But it’s only the beginning of a new era…

What scares me, now, is that we are in a terrible economic situation that we will have to willfully spend our way out of, with little hope of putting a good muzzle on Senate and House Republicans who will complain to high Heaven above about taxation without representation and all that kind of rot. Worse yet, as Obama is trying to forge a new pact in a Washington broken by the Young Turk Republicans in the ‘70’s, we have to put up with it and give said assholes more concessions than their actions will ever warrant. Our Supreme Court is literally lousy with the kind of radical conservative legal revisionists that would make a Shari’a Mullah blush, a problem more than worth its’ own weight in fat Mid-Westerners. Eight years of mismanagement under Fearless Leader, and more years of retrospectively unwise deregulation under Clinton have left the leadership of our business community stupid, spoiled and degenerate in profit motive. Further, the middle classes have all but disappeared, education is on the wane, and the average work week has gotten so long that maybe, just maybe, Conservative freaks have a point when they talk about moral decline in today’s youths… I mean, if parents can’t spend any time with Jr., strike the fear of whatever into him/her, then of course the little shit’s ‘gonna act out!

My point is, we have a lot of work to do. I wish our President Elect well, and hope to find a way to help going forward. We'll all have to swallow our pride to get underway. Our country has been divided for too long, has forgotten how to talk across the aisles, make gentleman’s deals. Don’t give up, cheering crowds, when you finally see how much you’ll have to sacrifice, please… Otherwise you’ll be letting everybody who saw these costs before you even got excited, like me, down. We can’t do this without the energy and hope you brought to the great undertaking of electing, GASP, a progressive!

On a completely unrelated topic… Did any of y’all SEE Michelle Obama’s dress? Damn. Hire a stylist. I mean, if Sarah Palin, a CC (Christian Conservative) cow from Alaska can dress like she dresses without any of Michelle's poise or intelligence, what's your excuse, First Lady Elect?!?!